If you (don't) brake, you lose
10/11/2025
Have you ever had a boxing match against a car? I have: against a Renault Clio. It wasn't a very fair fight, though, in my opinion, because the Clio got into the ring weighing around a ton more than me. So he had long been boxing at super-heavyweight (over 92 kilos).
Our showdown didn't take place in the boxing gym directly below the Zwischengas editorial office, but on a local street. I was riding my ancient 1986 racing bike - far too late and far too fast. Maybe I could have made it to my destination in time if this Clio hadn't been chugging along in front of me, blocking my way. I drove impatiently behind it, hoping it would turn off soon.
Suddenly the car came to a halt in the middle of the road. The driver had seen children behind a hedge. I clung to both brake levers, but the almost antique brake pads were reluctant to do their job. With disc brakes, I would certainly have had a shorter braking distance than the colossus in front of me, but all I could do was try to swerve to the right. However, a cunning wall thwarted my cowardly attempt to swerve.
My only option was to flee forwards. I went on the attack: I lunged at my opponent with a clenched fist. My left hook went right into the eye, my fist slammed right into the rear light. My opponent was unimpressed and remained calm. "Fuck!" I cursed as I picked up shards of plastic with a bleeding hand. A girl at the side of the road watched me and said innocently: "You don't say that". She was damn right.
As a trophy for its glorious victory, the Clio received a brand new rear light. I got away with a cut hand - and of course arrived at my destination much later. So now you know why I avoid this model of car as much as possible. I also try not to get into any more fights with cars and not to overestimate the meagre braking performance of my steel racer.
Classic car drivers will be very familiar with this problem. If you are driving behind modern cars like the Renault Clio without ABS and brake boosters, you have to keep a much greater distance than if the car in front is also equipped with antiquated braking technology. If you keep switching back and forth between modern and classic cars (or bikes), you must never forget this.
